Help Windows 7HP cold shoulders my HP 5P LaserJet printer

Why can't they just get along? My new Windows 7HP 64-bit cold shoulders my HP 5P LaserJet PCL5 printer!

Solution:
Bonjour Print Service for Windows
Installed the package, it saw the printer on the network, printed a test page and I was done.

Long winded back story:
OK so it is a 12 year old printer running on its original cartridge -- its still a workhorse. I have it on a print server and I thought it would be a cinch. HP's Universal Printer Driver looked very promising since it saw the printer on the network. But then it dies:

64-bit Win7HP finds the network printer P1_HP and then windows explorer crashes (WER dump). 5.2.0.8874 splwow64, printer driver host for 32 bit apps frozen in resource monitor

The included W7HP driver didn't work either.